Cue meltdown in three...two...one...

Since the past few blogging days have been about making embarrassing confessions, I have another for you:

I had a mini meltdown on Sunday about my bike.

I knew it was coming, based on my internal freak-out that happened on Saturday. Luckily I was able to accomplish something productive out of the whole incident.

I was supposed to swim on Sunday, but my body was just far too sore from Saturday's run, so I wussed out. Instead I decided to conquer my biking fears. I dutifully suited up in some biking clothes, affixed my helmet, and set off into the garage to confront the beast.

My husband supportively came with me and tried to give me a lesson on shifting gears because, as we've covered, I'm in my mid-20s and do not know how to properly ride a bike. He toyed with the gear shifters for a few minutes, face scrunched up. He finally made the grand pronouncement of "I don't think these are working." Great.

He then helpfully attempted to inflate my tires a bit. Instant problem: We don't have the proper adapter to attach the air pump to the tires. In his effort to try, he wound up partially deflating my tires. Things are going just grand at this point.

So here I stand, in my bike clothes, nerdy helmet perched on my head, with no working bike. I sullenly wander inside the house to see if the local bike shop is open on Sunday for tune ups. No dice. They're not open until Tuesday.

I burst into tears.

An overreaction, to be sure, but I knew it was bound to happen sooner or later. I felt like all this training I've been doing has been a big sham. Who was I to think I could do something as athletic as compete in a triathlon? How could I have possibly thought I could pull of an April 18 sprint tri without knowing how to adequately ride a bike and swimming at the speed of molasses? Why was I even bothering?

I cried for a few minutes while my cats circled in concern. I then bucked up and found another bike shop in the area, one that specializes in triathlons, that was open for another 30 minutes. My husband and I loaded the bike in my car and off we went. She should be ready on Wednesday for pickup. Come that time I'm going to swallow my insecurities and ask the shop for a brief tutorial on how to use my bike most efficiently (aka, "Please help me, I don't even know how to change gears).

This will get easier. I will get better.

Consistency

I had a fantastic run on Saturday. I worked hard and I'm paying the price for it...ow. Still super sore, and it's been two days!

With temperatures in the low 60s, I set off for my first run around the pond in about a month. I am significantly slower when I run outdoors, but I'm coming to terms with that. The good news: I've gotten a little faster. I'm up to about a 12 minute mile, which is still very slow but faster than the 14 or 15 minute miles I was getting when I first started running back in August. I'll take it!

The best news is that I am finally running consistently. For a long time I would run fast at the start and then slowly but surely taper off over the course of my run. My time on the treadmill must be paying off, because I was hitting my marks on the nose throughout the entire run. I'm going to consider this progress!

I ran 3.5 miles including 10 minutes of walking (about a half mile) in line with my 8K training plan. I believe this was the longest I've run outdoors since my 5K in November, and my body is feeling it! Overall I was really proud of myself and felt great.  I miss running outdoors...I'll be very happy once spring begins to show its face around here!

Mental Block

I have a confession to make: I'm intimidated by my new bike.

She's not so scary looking, is she? But...here's my other embarrassing confession: I've only ever ridden one-speed bikes. Growing up I always rode my older sisters' bikes, which were old one-speeds. I may have ridden a more advanced bike for a year or two but it was the kind where you shift gears by backpedaling, and my neighborhood was flat so I never needed to change gears. So here I am, a grown woman, and I don't know how to properly ride a big girl bike.

I went for my first ride on the new girl on Thursday, and it was not quite what I hoped it would be. Third embarrassing confession of the day: I've only ridden a non-stationary bike twice in the past two years. Prior to that it had been fifteen years since I'd been on a bike as a child. So, my confidence and balance need some work. I puttered around my neighborhood for a couple of miles just trying to get my legs under me. When I was riding smoothly it was pretty awesome. I need to get used to being on a road bike with the low handlebars, and I kept straining my neck trying to be bent over while still maintaining a clear view of the road over my glasses. Note to self: Next time, wear contacts. 

Biggest hurdle: I literally do not know how to ride a bike with gears. I would get to a hill and the bike would.not.move. Clearly I was in the wrong gear, and I didn't know how to fix it. I tried flipping through the gear shifts and trying to find the right one, but it just wasn't working. And you know how I am about what I perceive to be failure.

So here I sit on a 50+ degree day, talking myself out of going bike riding. I know that I just need to get over the hurdle of figuring out gear shifting and then I'll feel great, but until then I'm panicking and wondering if I'm really going to be ready for a triathlon in mid-April. What if I can't bike up hills? What if I get a flat and don't know how to patch it? What if my chain jumps off and I don't know how to fix it. What if I can't finish my first tri?!?!?!?! 

Deep breaths. Combined with my swimming weakness I'm sitting here having a serious tri panic. Does everyone go through this? I was feeling super confident just last week after I did a mini sprint tri at the gym (swam 400 yards, stationary-biked 10 miles, treadmill-ran 1.25 miles), but now I'm feeling overwhelmed. 

The temperatures this weekend are supposed to be in the high-50s, low 60s both days, and the sunshine is staring me in the face like a loaded gun. I have to get out there. I WANT to get out there. But I'm afraid of failure.

I just need to man up and go. I'll figure it out. I'll get better....right?

I've been training, really I have!

My apologies for the long, long delay in posting anything. In truth I've been too busy training!

The demands of work, training, teaching, dog and assorted life crises have kept me on my toes lately. Through it all I've come to realize that working out is the one thing truly keeping me sane during this hectic time in my life. There is a notable difference in my demeanor (a cranky one) on the days when I am not able to work out. Coming home from a good run or bike ride has me feeling like a million bucks and I crave those endorphins now. How on earth did I ever live without adrenaline rushes for so long?!

My triathlon training is going well. I'm realizing that my swimming needs a lot of work, so I've now committed to at least one, if not two, swims per week. Each swim gets a little easier, so I just need to keep hammering away at my endurance.

I've had some great runs lately. I've finally come to view the treadmill as an ally and I no longer dread those indoor workouts. I had a phenomenal experience running in the Arizona mountains while visiting family earlier this month, and it made me realize how lucky I am in life. Regardless of previously mentioned life crises, I am still happy, healthy, and able to run. For this I am grateful. One of my favorite running blogs also recently talked about a similar epiphany while running through beautiful scenery, and I thought frequently of this sentiment as I breathed in the crisp mountain air. Truly blessed indeed.

My big news of the week is that I just purchased a road bike! So I'm now able to fully train and race in my upcoming April triathlon. She's sitting in my car at the moment, just waiting to be unloaded and taken for a ride. I plan on trekking around the neighborhood a bit this evening to get a feel for her before making my way to the pool. Ah the life of an aspiring triathlete! Such simple pleasures.

This weekend is supposed to be beautiful, with highs in the upper 50s. It'll be the first warm spell for close to a month around these parts, and I intend to take full advantage with lots of bike rides and outdoor runs.

I'll be more diligent about updating the blog from this point forward. So tune in for more adventures!