A New Focus?

My cryptically-referred-to swim never materialized yesterday. I got caught up in housework fever, plus my legs were feeling very sore from my last two runs and I didn't want to overdo it. These are all lovely excuses for the real reason: I am avoiding getting back in that pool.

I last swam on Labor Day at the start of my first foray into triathlon training. I was a fish growing up, always in my parents' pool and was a great swimmer. That was...many years ago. I'm also largely a self-taught swimmer because I was medically excused from gym class beginning in 7th grade (knee injury), so my technique gets me from Point A to Point B but not very efficiently.

First of all, I get a bit overwhelmed by new things. Locating the pool, establishing space in the locker room and figuring out where to check in/how many yards the pool was/what the rules were really made me nervous. Quite honestly, this is likely the real reason why I've been avoiding going back in the pool. I like routine, and new-ish things are not routine. I need to get over this. Once in the pool and swimming I quickly realized that the other swimmers were swimming much differently than I was. I was never really properly taught how to freestyle, so I don't put my head in the water and my kick is sort of a breast stroke/wild flailing hybrid. It is slow but, more importantly, it completely exhausts me because it's so much work. I've been watching freestyle technique videos online and need to basically re-train myself how to do it. This also feels like a daunting task.

Why am I focused on getting back in the pool? Because I think I might want (translation: I want but don't want to commit because I'm terrified I can't do it) to compete in a sprint triathlon in mid-April. Logically I know that I CAN do it. The swim portion is only 300 yards, which I should be able to manage quite nimbly with three months to go. The bike part is only 10 miles, which I can easily do. I've already run a 5K and am training for 8K. This should be a piece of cake.

Except I'm terrified. At the beginning of this journey, back in August, I declared to my friend that if I ever completed a triathlon I would feel like the biggest badass in the world. Her response: "Then do it. What's stopping you?" Simple but true. I've been psyching myself out of it for months now, convinced that my physical and mental abilities are somehow too inferior to contemplate actually completing a tri. Putting a hard date on it (April 18, gulp....) is scaring the bejesus out of me. I'm avoiding registering until the last minute "just in case." Just in case what?! I break my leg? I move away? That I'm somehow "not ready" even though I'm already prepared for two out of three portions, with the third being do-able within a few weeks of training? I'm a loon.

...Oh but I hope to soon also be a triathlete!